27 Apr You Are Different, So What?
You Are Different
When I arrived on the campus of Illinois State (ISU) for my post graduate program, I quickly realized I was ‘different’. Within those first few weeks of the new semester, reeling from the cold weather and culture shock, I assumed my “difference” was a liability. I mistook my difference for a liability instead of an asset. For a short while, I wouldn’t speak in class and blatantly refused to ask questions or contribute to any discussion because amongst other things, I worried my accent would reveal my difference.
Can you imagine the travesty?
IMPLICATION
As you can imagine, this is a fairly common phenomenon for new students, employees, managers, leaders, expatriates who are often overwhelmed by the ‘newness’ of a place or experience that they unintentionally internalize their differences and clamp up.
A SUDDEN REALIZATION
What was also infuriating about this phenomenon is the wasted time spent seeking out colleagues afterward. Anyway, my ‘story’ changed when my classmates mentioned how much they loved my unique accent during a small group meeting.
I was stunned. What? Really!!
Darn, I literally kicked myself for being stupid.
There are many people who are afraid of being seen or heard because they are not like everyone. Sadly, following others when it is perfectly ok, to be themselves (different).
Your ‘difference’ is your uniqueness.
It is what makes you special and what you bring to the world, your work, your calling, assignment, and purpose.
That ‘difference’ is the originality you must never lose as it enables you to be your authentic self. This is the battle you must face daily and win.
I love this story and the lessons it affords us, please read on —
The Crab & Lobster (author unknown but acknowledged)
A crab and a lobster were secretly dating. Pretty soon, the lobster tired of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her not to see the crab anymore. “It’ll never work honey,” he says to her. “Crabs walk sideways and we walk straight.” “Please,” she begs her father. “Just meet him once. I know you’ll like him.”
Her father finally relents and agrees to a one-time meeting, and she runs off to share the good news with her crab, sweetie. The crab is so excited he decides to surprise his beloved’s family. He practices and practices until he can finally walk straight!
On the BIG day, he walks the entire way to the lobster’s house as straight as he can. Standing on the porch, and seeing the crab walking towards him, the lobster dad yells to his daughter…“I knew it! Here comes that crab and he’s drunk!”
The moral of the story —
- Do not try to be like someone else, BE YOURSELF
- Discover what makes you unique, BE REAL
- Embrace who you are, BE AUTHENTIC
- Finally, Be true to yourself!
Remember it’s perfectly OK to be you.
Dr. Flo
Dr. ‘Flo Falayi is a Management Consultant and Leadership Coach enabling, empowering and developing next generation leaders and organizations. The Founder of The Hybrid Leadership Institute and referred to as The Hybrid Leader™- American Born, British Educated, and Nigerian Raised.
Follow Dr. Flo on Twitter @DrFloFalayi
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